Having attended an all-girls all boarding school, the girl-on-girl thing is all too familiar to me. In fact, I could say it was a norm as young entrants were ‘hooked’ up with eager seniors under the guile of being ‘school-mothers’. However, in my mind this culture meant anything but the actual intercourse that normally goes on between two people of the opposite sex. I didn’t even know that the terms ‘homosexual’ or ‘gay’ included the feminine gender until I raised the issue amongst a group of friends. The funny thing is that they also said that indeed, female homosexuality is more tolerable than male homosexuality. How appalling?
Whatever the case may be, I belong to that class of people who are convinced that homosexuals, whether female or male are definitely not of normal orientation. Leave sanctimony aside, if nature meant for women and women or men and men to procreate , then I’m sure it would have also provided situations for both organs in both cases to be complementary. Gay couples interested in having children opt for adoption, artificial insemination or even surrogacy…the irony of it all. On the one hand, approbating the axioms of nature and on the other hand, reprobating them.
Secondly, even in the animal world, copulation is based on opposites and diversity. Almost all animals have a name used to describe the female and another used to describe the male. For dogs, it’s the dog and the bitch. For cows, it’s the bull and the cow. For geese, it’s the goose and the gander and for lions, it’s the lion and the lioness. The fact that some animals like the snake don’t have any names to differentiate both sexes doesn’t mean copulation for them is any different.
In addition to the aforementioned, as a Christian who attended enough Sunday school to know that God created Adam and Eve and all legitimate relationships and marriages in the bible refer to man and woman, I am sure without a doubt that homosexuality is highly immoral and totally unacceptable. As a preacher, here in Lagos once said, “God did not create Adam and Steve; neither did he create Madam and Eve.” So even though, some preachers all over the world have defended homosexuality by coining and tweaking scriptures to suit their actions, I still believe that if God did intend for men to leave the female species and become joined to other men, he certainly would not have made the penis and vagina complementary in design. Hence, until I see two female dogs mating or a bull elephant on heat looking for another bull elephant to mate, homosexuality remains unnatural.
Nevertheless, as much as I oppose homosexuality, I am well aware that I am in no way more righteous or more deserving of freedom, in any capacity, than those of that orientation. Besides who am I to judge anyone? After all, I tell the occasional lie, backbite and from time to time ignore people who offend me. Does that make me any better than a lesbian? I’m sure no, because even in the bible all sins-fornication, adultery, covetousness, malice, and lying-are all the same, none greater than the other. It is their choice and having fundamental human rights, they are free to express themselves as long as it does not threaten the life of another human being. If so, why then, should a ‘free’ citizen be sentenced to 14 years behind bars for love?
Early last month, a bill was placed before the Nigeria national assembly to ban same-sex relationships. Shortly after it passed the 1st reading the Senate President David Mark made a very interesting quote “Homosexuality is offensive to our culture and tradition; it is incomprehensible to contemplate. I cannot understand it. My father as a Christian abhors it. We cannot allow our tradition and value system eroded. It is offensive. It is repugnant. I do not think any religion supports this…” Two statements in this quote caught my attention. They are “Homosexuality is offensive to our culture and tradition” and “We cannot allow our tradition and value system eroded.”
One of the most contentious issues in same-sex relationships and marriages in Nigeria and even Africa is whether it is totally alien to our culture. It will interest Mr Senate president to know that there is a strain of same gender marriage in Nigerian tradition, particularly in Igbo land. In Imo state in south-eastern Nigeria, traditionally marriage is done between a man and a woman; however, there are some cases where marriage between a woman and a woman is permissible. In a situation where a woman who has no son or child loses her husband, it is culturally allowed for her to marry a wife. She goes out, inquires and gets a wife of her choice but this is not before paying a dowry and fulfilling other traditional rights as done when a man is marrying a woman. After this, she becomes the husband and they start living together as husband and wife. To have children, the woman-husband and wife agree to allow a man from the same or neighbouring village/town to sleep with the wife. To top it all, the children born bear the name of the woman-husband. Asides this, evidence abounds that these types of “marriages” exist in several ethnic groups in southern Nigeria. Nevertheless, because of the secrecy, lack of expressiveness and hypocrisy that goes with sexual expression, no one can really say whether these female partners actually have sexual intercourse with each other.
Typical with us, we love to rank one sin above the other. We think telling lies, committing adultery, syphoning public funds to private accounts overseas and collecting bribe are better than being homosexual. Thousands of Nigerians die every week due to car accidents and diseases that would have been prevented if the same lawmakers hadn’t diverted funds meant to rehabilitate roads and hospitals to their bank accounts. Recently, another bill was passed to remove fuel subsidies by January 2012 and a long list was released to expose the companies who have been collecting fake subsidy payments. To the best of my knowledge, there was not one homosexual on that list. Each year the Economic and Financial Commission (EFCC) parades an alleged looter in court hearings that make the front pages of top newspapers, all in efforts of propaganda, and finally allows him or her to walk freely. Was it a homosexual who looted 10 billion naira and bought mansions for his family in elite estates all over the world? Or is it homosexuals who filibustered the House of Representatives report on the probe of the power projects? Why then, in a free and democratic society should we put a citizen behind bars for 14 years for sexual expression?
Our problems in Nigeria are much deeper than our leaders are willing to address, an attitude all too familiar to us. The things that deserve urgent attention are of no significance to us; it is those things that add little or nothing to our progress that we concentrate and expend all energy on. In any case, the Nigerian government needs to accept that individuals are becoming more open, more assertive and expressive about their sexual and marriage choices, desires and identities. Sexual and marriage paradigms are changing rapidly and Africans must make the necessary social, cultural and legal adjustments in response to accommodate these changes.
